“Is interesting, no?” whispered Vladimir, to the mirror, smoking a cigar, surrounded by tabloids. The headlines betraying editorial bias. Putin’s Dead! A Stroke! Palace Coup! And, Vladimir’s a Father! Which is my favorite. Because faced with uncertainty, we believe what we want to believe, we fear what we want to fear. And I want to believe Putin slipped out to Lugano, where his 31yr old baby mama gave birth to their

“Countries with different ideologies, different priorities, different systems of government, cooperated to defeat the Nazis,” said Iraq’s Prime Minister, “It’s foreseeable we see countries which might not get along well in terms of their bilateral relations working to help defeat this threat.” Iran’s military mastermind, America’s nemesis, General Suleimani, draped in black, sporting a grim grin, sipping tea, appeare

“Can’t count the times I’ve thought, oh my god, maybe that guy’s just better than me,” grunted Bulldog. “In the end, they’re not,” he snorted, scratching a torn ear. “They’ve just never been rocked to their core.” The top performer in any given year is supremely confident. He’s operated within the no-fear zone, fully committed in the markets, because he doesn’t yet know how badly it can hurt. “The guys you want manag

Hope all goes well… “The VIX curve was flat at 20-21,” said Roadrunner, the market’s biggest volatility trader. “Everyone expected things to fall apart, which meant we had to rally.” And as stocks spent weeks grinding to all-time highs, on declining volume and collapsing volatility, the VIX curve steepened dramatically. “It’s easier for interesting things to happen when the curve gets steep,” he explained, looking le

“The Prophet took down idols with his bare hands when he went into Mecca,” said the militant, destroying a statue of the ancient Assyrian deity of protection, ignorant of the irony. Because the only thing more dangerous to a jolly band of Jihadis than letting a Buddha statue stand, is knocking one down. And besides, anyone confident in his own faith should quite naturally find no insult in the faith of another. “NEIN

I handed our three youngest kiddies gigantic Toblerone bars. They cheered, hooted. Jackson’s eyes remained closed, waiting. Into his hands I placed a book, on top of which was the photograph of a 13yr old girl, with a beautiful smile, sparkling eyes. “Who is she?” he asked. “Anne Frank,” I replied, “She wrote that when she was your age, it was her diary.” In Amsterdam I’d toured the attic where she spent two years wi

Hope all goes well… “I couldn’t have imagined this could happen,” said the investor, sitting in Amsterdam. “What neighbors would do to one another,” he continued, having fled Sarajevo in early 1992. “The French are socialists, with a bad economy, this breeds the resentment, it creates the conditions,” said the Dutch businessman. “The Germans have a strong economy, they need workers, and so it works, so it goes,” he c

“My first six months were agony,” he said. “Nothing worked, no matter how hard I tried.” We sat in London, relaxed, reflecting, in a magnificent meeting room, dressed in fine art, disguising the true nature of this wonderfully horrible business. Because trading-floor walls are filthy, stained from risk-takers throwing crap, hoping something sticks. “Worried I’d get sacked,” continued the portfolio manager, now amongs

Obama’s Treasury Secretary spoke all day. And felt no one understood him. Because Jack’s mother tongue is English, the language of business; but more precisely, Lew spoke American, with a New York accent – the dialect of money. Sapin spoke the language of love. Of course, there’s no more beautiful tongue, but those who speak French have grown tone deaf to American, bitter that it’s not love, but money, that mak

Hope all goes well… “People were looking for multiple expansion,” said Yoda, high in the Rockies. “But who expected it would happen with prices at all-time highs, while earnings forecasts fall?” asked the market’s biggest S&P local. “6wks ago the S&P had 35-point ranges, now they’re 11-points,” he said. “Have sellers surrendered?” Then Yoda paused. “This is the 6th year of the bull market, what does that tell