It’s gone viral. The nastiest crap inevitably does. And like all plagues, it’s not hard to discover its origin. This one didn’t start in Dallas. Where brave nurses endured things so horrifying they’d leave Stephen King quivering. You see, there are three things that make an existing crisis more terrifying; breaking effective protocols in panic, clinging to broken protocols in paralysis, or swinging wildly between unp

Hope all goes well… “Is there a goddamn adult in the house?” barked Bulldog. “First the Fed inserts after-the-fact comments into their meeting minutes, saying they’re concerned about dollar strength,” growled Dawg. “What the hell is that? They never discussed the dollar at that meeting, it wasn’t even strong yet.” In a world where the only meaty bone left is American, the dollar needs to rally. Lest others starve. “T

There it sat, for over a month. On the dock, in plain sight. Bureaucracy and political infighting froze its delivery. But as the devastation spread, and outrage at the ineptitude spilled over, back-room deals were done, red tape was cut, the cargo container magically opened. And desperately needed medical supplies were released; to Sierra Leone. Far too late. Anyhow, we’ve finally discovered the number – it tak

Hope all goes well… “What happens when everyone who wanted to buy a 10% correction is already long?” asked Yoda, high in the Rockies. “What happens when they start selling things that made money, to pay for things that lost it?” continued the mkt’s largest S&P trader. “What happens when that pushes stocks and bonds down together?” he asked, pausing. “Yes, what happens when the S&P trades 1,600 and 10yrs hit 3

Time to unleash my inner nerd. And admit I read the Geneva Report cover to cover. In one titillating go. Which got my propeller spinning faster than a preacher’s wife’s pulse, reading Fifty Shades. Not because of its content, which we all had beaten into us, with a stiff wooden ruler, back in Econ 101. But rather, because this story’s no fantasy. “Contrary to widely held beliefs, the world has not yet begun to deleve

Hope all goes well… “You could’ve bought as many puts as you wanted,” said Roadrunner – an elusive creature, who’s become the S&P’s biggest volatility trader by avoiding traps. “The Vol never lies.” And leaning on that lesson, he and his flock faded the move. “This is just the beginning, it’s still early, it started with the dollar, now it moves to other markets.” Ever since 2009, it was easy to buy calls when th

“Maybe write something about turning 48,” said Mara. “Write about that Berkeley Hills trail run with your brother, when you thought you had a fatal medical condition,” she continued. “But then realized you were just getting old, outta shape.” I considered it. The idea had some merit. After all, I did really feel like I was going to die. And glimpsing my mortality, swore to god that if only I lived to hear another ope

“When trouble comes up anywhere in the world, they don’t call Beijing,” said Obama. “They don’t call Moscow,” continued America’s commander in chief. “They call us.” Undoubtedly true. “America leads, that’s always the case,” said our President. At which point Europe’s 28 leaders slumped in union. Depressed. Deflated. You see, no one’s ever called. And never will. How could they? Who would they call? But worse yet, Ob

“But I want to be clear: we’re not moving fast enough,” said Obama, chastising world leaders. “We are not doing enough,” continued the President, shuffling papers, buying time, trying to remember what that damned fourth issue was. Certain that it too was emblematic of chronic failure in global policy coordination. You see, he’d already addressed climate change, ISIS, and tax inversions. But no matter, we all draw bla

“Tell you one thing that helps me take risk,” grunted Bulldog, wandering around Greenwich, his wild pack barking in the background. “We feed off each other,” continued one of the industry’s largest, most profitable risk-takers. They roam far and wide, scratching, sniffing. Until one picks up a scent. Then they race off, competing to be fastest, biggest. “Most people wait for prices to really move their way before get