Hope all goes well… “Oh yeah, we’ll look great in a family pic,” said Teddy, tired of being teased, having impulsively cut his own hair with kitchen scissors. “Olivia with her black eye, Jackson with his snaggletooth, and Charlie with his ugly face,” he continued, cracking himself up. Jackson hid his broken front tooth (lacrosse injury). Olivia blushed. But Osama bin Charlie declared jihad, “You forgot about yo

Oh thank god we lost. And no longer have to pretend. That we care about soccer. Or even know a single player’s name. Other than Tim Howard of course. A superhero. Who in that melting-pot, mixed-up sort of American way covers his body in tattoos, battles Tourette’s Syndrome, loves Jesus, wears his beard like a Jihadist, and deflects more incoming shots than the world’s latest self-proclaimed Caliph has middle names. I

“Should have known what to expect,” he said, laughing at his own idiocy. “When you move into a house filled with 19yr old derelict degenerates, there’s no going to sleep early.” But refusing to cut and run, he traded out of the position. “I figured if these morons were going to keep me up till 2am listening to Pearl Jam, they were going have to pay.” So he started a casino in the frat-house basement. That stank of st

Hope all goes well… “Good news is still good,” said Yoda, high on grappa. “And bad is still good,” continued the S&P mkt’s biggest local, sailing the Amalfi coast. “Open at 1971, trade to 67, close at 78; that is good.” The cry of boat hands tacked in the distance. “Open 71, trade to 78, close at 50; that is bad.” Our historic rally’s been built by the former, and is absent the latter. “This is the upward capitul

Hope all goes well… “I can’t find anything; Argentina 2038 bonds were trading in the 30’s and 40’s,” said the investor. “But now they’re close to 50,” he said. “Guess there’s some carry left in Venezuela,” he said, more to himself than to me. “And Ivory Coast’s defaulted bonds yield 6%.” We both laughed. Simultaneously seeing that he’d found something after all. ‘Cause when you realize the only thing left to do is bu

Harry lived fast. Furiously. And though I can’t honestly say I loved him, I loved how much Teddy did. You see, my son feels passionately for all creatures. So our balance sheet grows ever larger; cats, dogs, lizards, butterflies, fish and frogs. Harry wasn’t his first hamster. Nor I’m afraid will he be his last. Harriet came first. Arriving on Santa’s sleigh. But on Boxing Day, she went for a wander. “Snap!” A brief

“People are envious of me because I’m rich, handsome, and a great player; there’s no other explanation,” announced Ronaldo, far better at Futbol than searching for explanations. Of course, Portugal has the chance to be the world’s envy only once every four years. And now, they’ll have to wait again till 2018. During which time they’ll do one thing; siesta baby. It wasn’t always so. Portugal built earth’s first truly

Rain fell. Hard, heavy, winter rain. Sweeping the grime from her broad avenues. Washing it all away, but for the most stubborn filth; money-changers. Who littered the streets, beneath wide red umbrellas, that sprouted like mushrooms, selling black-market dollars for pesos. At exchange rates that rose inexorably, inversely to the strength of her grasp. And unable to wash those ubiquitous scarlet stains from her capita

Hope all goes well… Pushed open the Ministry’s heavy doors. The magnificent building a monument to Argentina’s prosperous past. Behind the shoddy front desk sat seven young women, chatting leisurely. To my right stood two guards, to my left another. I presented my passport, exchanged pleasantries, confirming their English was superior to my Spanglish. And with no other visitors in the grand lobby, the eleven of us na

“That is more of a philosophical question,” said the Minister, pausing, smiling. I nodded silently, waited for an answer. You see we’d been discussing a wide range of policies his office had implemented. I’d started by acknowledging that America also runs persistent budget deficits, generates chronic current account deficits, creates money with which our central bank buys government debt, promises entitlements it is