Overall: “It crossed a lot of lines for me. Many, many lines, beyond a red line, many, many lines,” said Trump, a kaleidoscope of bright colors swirling before him. “The attack on innocent children, beautiful babies, that had a big impact on me – big impact,” he admitted, incensed. “My view toward Syria and Assad has changed very much.” And that’s not the only thing that changed very much. You see, for all the talk o

Hope all goes well… “False flag attack!” cried the alt-right conspiracy theorists, infuriated with their President. “Abu Ivanka!” tweeted Arabs throughout the Middle East, thanking the Father of Ivanka for finally confronting Assad. “Trump wants to prove to the world that he is no ‘businessman president’ and that he will use US military force without hesitation when he considers it necessary,” declared Chinese state

Hope all goes well… “How’s he going to cut taxes and make it revenue neutral?” asked the CIO. “How’s he going to do massive infrastructure when we’re so deep in debt?” he continued. “And why is the yield curve flattening? Why is loan demand declining? Why is consumer confidence at historic highs while retailer stocks are getting demolished?” He paused to catch his breath. And still panting asked, “What happens if he

Overall: “My administration is putting an end to the war on coal,” declared Trump, signing an executive order, his favorite kind. His only kind. And within no time, nothing happened. Not a single thing. No more coal was mined. No more miners were hired. No more CO2 was emitted. Not a sole CEO approved capital investment in a new coal power plant. Because of course, these kinds of decisions are made with a 50yr time h

“Humans sell low and buy high,” said Yoda, high in the Rockies. “And in those moments they believe it’s for good reason. It cannot be otherwise.” Snow fell, rain too. Spring on its way. “Bear markets end when every piece of news is seen as an excuse to sell. And bull markets peak when the opposite is true.” Somewhere in the clouds Nasdaq futures were breaching all-time highs, defying the latest Twitter tempest. “The

“Freshman,” said a father in the stands, his buddies all laughed. I did too. “Who’s going to tell that kid this ain’t eighth grade anymore?” I smiled, the outsider. It was Jackson’s first game, and he came out hot. “Kid has no chance in hell to score from that far out until he’s got a 100mph shot,” said another father, certain. “He’s got 85mph at best,” mumbled someone. We all nodded, standing together, reliving high

Hope all goes well… “Where’s the beef?” bellowed Biggie Too. “Health care, regulation reform, tax cuts – where’s it at?” continued the Chief Global Strategist for one of those too big to fail affairs. “You boys were always gonna face this moment,” barked Biggie, sliding into a slow groove. “But here’s the thing brotha. The market doesn’t care about health care – you know that. Poor people care about health care

Overall: “You cannot spend all the money on drinks and women, then ask for help,” said some Dutch dude with an utterly unpronounceable name, trying on a little Trump, just to see how it feels to call it as you see it. “Dijsselbloem lost a great opportunity to be quiet,” responded Italy’s failed former prime minister Renzi. “Dijsselbloem’s European vision is evident in the union’s policies: a presumed economic, moral

“You know what I dislike about my own argument?” asked the CIO. “I sound defensive, like I can’t accept I’m wrong.” We all know that guy, and rarely want to be him. “No one ever truly believed in my thesis,” he said, describing it: A growing dominance by the global economic elite shapes policy to deliberately asphyxiate dynamism. Because dynamism and its fraternal twin – volatility – are the only real threats t

Overall: “The end result was that levels came down and down and down and we’ve seen levels lower now than we have ever seen before,” stammered the scientist, excited like a child, quite obviously not referring to global temperatures, carbon emissions, sea levels, or mass extinctions. Nor was he talking about implied volatility. Though he could’ve been. Because volatility is collapsing, despite so many things happenin