Category

“There’s no need to panic,” said Emefiele, wiping his brow, fueling that which he’d hoped to extinguish. “Our reserves can support nine-months of imports, we believe we’re very safe,” continued the central bank chief. Now, obviously no one cares about Nigeria. It’s just another crappy country, getting seriously fracked by the Bakken boys. And if that ain’t painful enough, it’s been Boko Haramed too. Anyhow, Nigeria h

“You are goddamn good looking man,” he grunted, nearly nicking his nipple. And wiping his shaven chest clean, the desperate little dictator winked at his greatest fan. “Is fitting, no?” he continued, speaking to the mirror, admiring his crooked smile, his unpredictable, icy eyes. “It is I who am #1, yes, it is I who turn weak hand strong; in end, it is always I.” Indeed, Forbes crowned him mankind’s most powerful man

Nothing changes. Everything changes. And that never changes. “October 26th was another historic day for Afghanistan in which the British invaders officially accepted the military defeat of their fourth invasion,” announced the Taliban. As British soldiers ended combat operations for the fourth time in 200yrs. And American warriors wound down the longest war in our 240yr history, returning to prosperity’s heaven

They lay moribund. Eyes rolled back. Puking. Spewing. Surrounded by doctors, hermetically sealed in hazmat, with more degrees than sense. Outside the bio-containment unit, media monkeys went bananas. Shrieking deflation, depression, destruction. Yet the plague spread unchecked. New Zealand released inflation numbers. Despite 3.7% GDP growth, record immigration, a housing boom, post-quake reconstruction bonanza, and 9

It’s gone viral. The nastiest crap inevitably does. And like all plagues, it’s not hard to discover its origin. This one didn’t start in Dallas. Where brave nurses endured things so horrifying they’d leave Stephen King quivering. You see, there are three things that make an existing crisis more terrifying; breaking effective protocols in panic, clinging to broken protocols in paralysis, or swinging wildly between unp

There it sat, for over a month. On the dock, in plain sight. Bureaucracy and political infighting froze its delivery. But as the devastation spread, and outrage at the ineptitude spilled over, back-room deals were done, red tape was cut, the cargo container magically opened. And desperately needed medical supplies were released; to Sierra Leone. Far too late. Anyhow, we’ve finally discovered the number – it tak

“When trouble comes up anywhere in the world, they don’t call Beijing,” said Obama. “They don’t call Moscow,” continued America’s commander in chief. “They call us.” Undoubtedly true. “America leads, that’s always the case,” said our President. At which point Europe’s 28 leaders slumped in union. Depressed. Deflated. You see, no one’s ever called. And never will. How could they? Who would they call? But worse yet, Ob

“But I want to be clear: we’re not moving fast enough,” said Obama, chastising world leaders. “We are not doing enough,” continued the President, shuffling papers, buying time, trying to remember what that damned fourth issue was. Certain that it too was emblematic of chronic failure in global policy coordination. You see, he’d already addressed climate change, ISIS, and tax inversions. But no matter, we all draw bla

What the hell? Nothing happened? Seriously? Scotland’s British? Some crappy little concept-country called Catalonia collapsed? The sun rose? Then set? Yup. And that’s not the half of it. Yellen kept her “considerable period” language in the Fed statement. Which means nothing. Don’t believe me? Just ask her, she admitted it, she’s “data dependent.” But still, had she removed “considerable period,” like for real, well,

“A small body of determined spirits, fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission, can alter the course of history,” he said, frail in body, fierce in heart, and powerful beyond imagination. Naturally, he was right. He is right. And inspired by Gandhi’s wisdom, and self-determination victory, it’s no wonder countless aspirants have followed his path. Now, Salmond is no Mahatma. And Alex’s unquenchable faith, like