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Week-in-Review: Mon: Iran nuclear accord, Japan rejects China Sea defense-zone, S&P “1/3 chance of Japan downgrade within 2yrs,” US pending home sales contract 5th mth, S&P -0.1%; Tue: US B52’s cross China defense-zone, BOJ minutes “downside risks to outlook,” Italian consumer confidence improves, Spain budget deficit widens (mortgage approvals/lending contract yoy), Carney “UK picking up sharply,” US home pe

“Open Sesame,” commanded Ali Baba; The Den of Thieves magically opened, revealing a treasure trove. Like all great tales, this one’s been told in every language. Anyhow, Alibaba broke its own 24-hr record by 80%, registering $5.75bln of online sales. You see, it was Chinese Valentines Day, and in a nation of frisky fellas with too few females, nothing says Open Sesame like a cheap tchotchke. Alibaba’s IPO arrives in

Europe’s brightest economic PhD’s gathered in Frankfurt to discuss policy-induced deflation. After much erudite deliberation, and self-congratulation, they boldly slashed interest rates by 25bps to 0.25% — hoping to spur inflation. Investment bank PhD’s re-ran models. Recalibrated forecasts. Stocks yawned. In America, Wilcox and English, two brilliant Federal Reserve PhD’s, provided intellectual cover to mainta

“We laugh at the very things that hurt us,” said the International Clown Convention’s leader. Yeah, the world’s 500 most distinguished jokers gathered in Mexico City, publicly condemning the clown-clad assassin who recently popped Francisco Felix, a notorious drug trafficker. The clown conclave “broke into a spontaneous 15-minute laugh-a-thon,” and having cleared their collective conscience, moved on to o

Merkel went mental. Can you blame her? She grew up East of the Iron Curtain, under the loving stare of the Stasi. Of course, if you’d believe a community organizer from Chicago’s suburbs can outfox Angie, well, I got an Obamacare.com login to sell you. Nope, Merkel’s turning purple over the fact that Snowden sprung another leak, and now that our spying policy is clear for all to see, she can’t reliably send misinform

We’re saved! So Americans got back to work. While DC indulged itself in idiocy. According to statistically-insignificant partisan-sponsored samplings of eligible voters, all sorts of contradictory outcomes unfolded. Transgender Latino single-mothers of Irish descent – responding to pollsters while waiting for Obamacare’s website to reboot – expressed an overwhelmingly favorable impression of the President

“The American people should realize that their politicians play with their destinies as well as the destinies of other oppressed nations for the sake of their personal vested interests,” announced the Taliban. Which finally gave Democrats and Republicans something to agree on. What’s that? Well, the only thing more humiliating than Putin mediating our international disputes, is a lip lashing from self-rig

They expelled three US diplomats. From Caracas. For sabotaging the economy. As if Venezuela didn’t have enough problems. Their stock market fell 2.9%. And in poor Brazil, Moody’s first downgraded the nation, then Petrobas. As that state-owned oil company encounters weak demand by foreign bidders for over-hyped off-shore drilling rights. Eike Batista, saboteur extraordinaire, dyed his wig a darker shade of grey, snuck

Ben sank his toes deep in the mud. Wiggled ’em around. Picked up a dirty oval stone. Rubbed it clean. Skipped it. Drifting back to his youth. Glorious youth. Without a care in the world; long before he made his big splash, launched his experiment, bought time for the kids in DC. “One could cut monthly purchases for each further 10bp decline in unemployment,” suggested Fed Governor Stein, secretly hoping the pre

Week-in-Review: Mon: Summers withdraws from Fed race, US/Russia agree on Syria plan, India inflation 6mth high, US IP +0.4% (+2.7% yoy), Cap Util 77.8%, NY Empire -2pts to 6.3, S&P +0.6%; Tue: China FDI falls -0.6% yoy (Jan-Aug FDI +6.4%), RBA retains easing bias, German ZEW 30.6 (9mth high), EU exports firm, UK CPI +2.7 yoy (core 2.-%), US CPI 1.5% yoy (core 1.8%), NAHB homebuilder  sentiment 58 (Nov ’05 h